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two poems [31st July 2008,12:35AM] [ mood | contemplative ] (written today) Sunflower Fields Searching for an epiphany Perhaps a quick preview of eternity Lost in the city's blunt modernity The billions of bees buzzing with activity My thought slips and away I go Farewell I say to the self I know Where flowers wilt, weeds will grow Petals lit by sunrays aglow On my belly I lay, smelling the earth To marvels and mayhem it gives birth My blazing cash spewed across the hearth To prove money defines not my worth Sun feels sleepy and so do I Horizons melt to ressemble tie dye Eyelids become heavy and crickets less shy In this life I've never felt so high Goodnight to you from beneath the moon Where there's nothing but naked nature Where the silent can't be silenced Where I stray through sunflower fields... (written april 10th) if everyone's special to you i don't want to be You became a habit after a second or two Dropped into my life like a lucky penny I chose you from afar and labelled you a possibility Truth is i wasn't as scared of you as i was of me. You were inexplicably familiar With every flaw and fault you attempted to conceal as if i'd loved you times before in a far-off memory Truth is i was someone else or simply pretending to be You rolled out of bed everyday at dawn warmed your heart outside in the mornin' sun then kissed me on the cheek like when we were young Truth is i still long for childhood fun. trick me;

[14th December 2007,4:15PM] Mister X. the old man had a tender glass that sprouted just below his brow a painted pupil, the iris blue that gazed gauntly straight ahead. he traveled roads that took him nowhere the ones lit with gumdrop lights the ones where you drink and talk all night and forget who you met by the morning. he saw the sights and the towering buildings they were pretty but they crowded the horizon they were artificial and over-appreciated. and they looked clean but dirtied the air. he didn't care for the word normal it was spackled with material stereotypes it was hacked with wrongs and rights and meant to steer you to stupidity. the day he left me i looked in his throat down past his lungs and through his core those tracks of blood that traveled like trains suddenly stopped chugging along. trick me;

love is a rumor [12th November 2007,10:25PM] and she leaned in so close almost tripping on his lips the tip-tapedy sound of a liar's tips... "love is just a rumor spread from ear to ear babies die and husbands lie till the hopefuls disappear. form a line of contestants behind you then you all march into the streets bang your cans and ridiculous demands that the devil readily meets. miss you when you're with me cry away the anger you felt grow up dear and goodbye tear then the heart valves start to melt. my book of little chuckles they're not so funny anymore whispered kiss and ignorant bliss that leave us red-eyed and sore. so take it from a liar people can be trash too hidden change and now deranged wrong to think i needed you." into the rainy ranting of march he slipped sleekly away the slow grin and soft dismay... trick me;

predict the unpredictable [30th October 2007,6:35PM] that morning i awoke to dew on my nose tip rose shakily to your floors, your cuffs and your whip i wound your clocks counter-clockwise as i felt my heart slip planning my demise as i escaped from your grip. you caught me on my way to the door i opened my eyes and my jaw dropped to the floor... "a housewife needs to know only how to cook and clean so bake my soul till it browns and lick yourself green and when the dirt builds up upon you and cannot be redeemed don't think to throw yourself in my washing machine" i clawed and i scratched and i ran down the street unprepared for the daydreams that i would soon meet... with each drink of my coffee, the imagery was stunnning me and my boat swayed back and forth, you in the waves: running i quickly climbed the rungs to her top sail to sing 'i miss you more than muchly, precious darling.' your absence has left me desiring more its funny how one thought can shake your very core. trick me;

our own horizon [16th October 2007,5:36PM] pluck airplanes from beneath the clouds and tickle them till they tumble down... we'll be sitting in the grass, we'll be laughing hello your gaze will tell me what my heart needs to know... twist the teatering tree tops and paint the sun like a grandfather clock... showering to get this night off'a me the crippling embarassment and 4AM coffee... assemble the pieces of wings in the fields and then fly fast and up and away... maybe i'll see you again someday. trick me;

waiting [2nd September 2007,10:27PM] quizzical worries. you're pacing up the walls and across the roof your tears seem to tell their own tale with each second that drags itself by you sit and you stare and you clench. the neighbours seek you out briefly peeking through the blinds. restless body. first spread out on the shingles then fast footsteps shake the earth. you tongue twists into curses and cries then it's quiet and it's blunt and it's truthful. your breath slows and chills dress tarnished and damp at the ankles. countless thoughts. who where why when and how storybook questions which mock your impatience and stunt your optimism. it's dusk, and its dark and it's over. stars smudged into puffs masking the moon crickets whinning and frogs groaning. eyes fluttering. tensions settling. he's not coming. waiting. waiting. waiting. sleep. trick me;

the dinosaurs died, so will we [1st August 2007,1:30PM] the sun shines down right to dirt and tombs whilst the wind rattles tin cans and raids people's rooms above the horizon the devils cloud looms and the babies cry inside their mother's wombs. the sirens are sounding their cry of tragedies... the rich men scrap their pre-written eulogies... oh dear, this dreary day will soon doom us says the man who appears the most robust I shall go await my death in the dust accompanied by filth and the pungent smell of rust. the heroes muscles flatten and fry... the moon cackles and the stars demand why... the airplanes and birds suddenly cease to soar downward, downward; falling wings galore! oh please god, help us, the catholics implore bricks and building crumble at the sight of human gore the old aren't the young, and the young aren't the brave... the one that would save us still wishes to be saved... trick me;

summertime' [7th July 2007,11:35AM] [ mood | okay ] Solitary an old man lay on a deserted parkbench in L.A. where only the graffiti and the filth would hear him say... oh to be young, young and naive again. a fresh face in the crowd, even if all you kids wanna be alike. you'd do just about anything to make the world know your name. tainted teens and tarnished tears an eternal heartache hot on my trail. A broken mirror laid deep in my head there's seven or more years bad luck i can never really get out of my mind. boxed in by this bastard world i shyed away and i'm left alone now. so maybe i'm delicious in a cancerous kind of way. you're all jealous cause your name ain't so famous. an old man lay on a deserted parkbench in L.A. where only the graffiti and the filth would hear him say... trust can't be trusted. trick me;

[3rd June 2007,12:02AM] sad eyes and sappy songs let ourselves slip and we don't belong lonely togethers and do me wrongs i felt we'd end up here all along trick me;

french poem. [28th May 2007,7:54PM] [ mood | crazy ] le temps se détend l'horloge nous ment c'est quoi ce mystère qui nous amene vers l'enfers? le noir nous égard trop tot ou trop tard? tu me manques en abondance une grande distance de notre enfance j'suis pas la belle, ni la bête la joie n'est qu'une enquête trick me;

a grungy reflection of fiction [18th May 2007,11:50PM] vertigo, woe from time to time the mirror has spoken: but it's covered in grime. passive, attractive we'll be the new crime i'd sell you my soul: but you don't got a dime. curious, nervous an electric space tell your lungs to breathe: life's not a simple race. loss, longing woven into the lace peel off your layers... there's nothing left to embrace. trick me;

loss for words [17th April 2007,9:02PM] [ mood | crushed. ] [ music | cute is what we aim for- lyrical lies ] a pause a tiny smile and glance to see a sign of your hesitation a breaking point soon to come a glance a strand of hope weakened by fear a droop in your heart a sudden urge to flee a silence a solemn acceptance of defeat a new lack of optimism a realization of how alone you really are 02.trick me;

bless the modern world [8th April 2007,2:54PM] [ mood | tired ] it was but one long stretch the day fades away sun rays begin their run devoured by the man in the moon a simple end to mindless tasks and waiting for the little hand to budge nightfall and the world sleeps, or seems to climb up to your warm bed lay awake and hear faint rain mix the stars in your palm marvel at the sparkle and bless the modern world you might see this moment again but it's never the same chuckle to yourself count your sheep close your eyes buenos noches trick me;

coma [26th March 2007,7:48PM] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | cursive- the lament of pretty baby ] theres nothing left to do but sit here still and listen to the mechanical beep of your heartbeat the raindrops tapping upon the windowsill im tired but alert because maybe you'll awaken and re-use those tired limbs the ones that hang hollow and limp i hope im not mistaken when i say there is hope yet. trick me;

I hate your love [10th March 2007,9:30PM] [ music | sufjan stevens- chicago ] you chuckle so vague you smile so sultry this infantry is devastating your gaze fixed and captivating my lilps seem to be hesitating and all your love is irritating oh but may we dance one last time? With your arm in mine and your touch so divine? i tear at the eyes i swoon at your indifference we've ruined all the fairytales dulled their hope with our sharp scratching nails i guess this means fate never fails routing all our choices and tiny details trick me;

warm in our winter; [31st January 2007,6:34PM] you and me; so cold underneath the powder close your eyes because sugar, it's tonight slipping down, and away (literally, i'm not kidding you) (you chuckle now but...) (we'll break this breath at dawn) the snow is heavenly you say, and it makes me warm we're just so close to being alone i barely even notice the highway slipping down, and away (literally, i'm not kidding you) (you chuckle now but...) (we'll break this breath at dawn) down the street is a warm house but you tell me not to go and we twist our eyes shut; side by side slipping down, and away (literally, i'm not kidding you) (you chuckle now but...) (we'll break this breath at dawn) the night passes when i wake you're gone, with glassy eyes i'm sorry, says my one tear but i dont want to stay anymore (literally, i wasn't kidding you) (you're not chuckling now are you...?) (i told you) trick me;

i dont know where me is but i'm certainly not here. [26th November 2006,10:09PM] past past the looking glass all i see is you: a mix of poignant vertigo and a late trainride for two. oh is this what love does to me ? drained drained glasses of wine and you, twisted under the sheet it's 2am, bye love; i'm making my retreat. and i never ever saw you again, darlin and the angels, they count the seconds till i'm gone. ---- xmass soon<3. trick me;

rambling blah blah. [23rd November 2006,10:56PM] randy in the corner rollin' up a joint. ronda talking to the wall sayin' 'i dont see the point! your minds miles and miles away a smiles a smile; yours are fake.' pupils dialated, smoking lips holding it out to her: ' give or take? ' she sinks back down and pops her pills. randy points, sayin' 'don't you know, addiction kills? I bet you didn't get those from the pharmacy sugar, a doctor gone mad wouldn't give in. so don't you lecture me about thrills' and she says 'i know, babe, i give in.' And so they sit backwards and upside-down their heads flipped over, hearts turned around. We've lost yet another two more souls to the allure of fake with all this packaged 'happy' around why is everyone filled of self-hate? let's play make-believe and smile again. let's play fraud, i bet i'll win. --- idea from mel. mwah. trick me;

blah blah. [7th November 2006,6:56PM] the teens need to grow up? lies. blonds on the corner, mini skirts and knee high boots. the guys in their mercedes counting their bills, wondering if their wives are at home... 'heyy lemme pick you up, toots' but they're denying it all, thinkin 'yeah we slept around that dont make us ho's, right ?' i dont know who you've tied yourself onto this time, but girl, dont let him bleed you from your wrists. haven't you realized that a heart is kinda shaped like a fist ? just grow up? look who drinks to fill their days living a life with an angry glaze... and when the days done, you put your war plans aside, the terrorists find some place to hide. unload your guns and bang on your prison bars. you think we're wild ? we're not the ones needing to be caged away... --- haha. trick me;

[1st November 2006,6:53PM] THE ONLY LIGHTS IN A DARK WORLD cities filled with possibility the stranger walking afar could be a new friend, love, enemy ? your fate is running by... strung into rhythm by an ipod and quick pace cracks in the sidewalks resemble his face but are they too deep to erase? your rosy cheeks are fabulous... chilled thoughts litter the street but i can't deny that love's got me beat this city is my only retreat. trick me;

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